Friday, June 29, 2007
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
To continue in yesterday's vein: I was reminded of a time a few years ago when a (drunk) friend of mine said to me, "You just want someone to mold you."
This bold statement came on the heels of a spirited political discussion among a group of inebriated fellows where this particular friend's viewpoint differed from the opinion of the majority. He was obviously feeling defensive, and so was a little belligerent. Yet, it really bothered me that he said that, and at the time I thought he was an asshole and totally mistaken. But, looking back on it, I think the reason it bothered me so much was because, on a deeper-than-politics level, what he said was true!
I think it would feel very nice, very COMFORTABLE, to be squashed into a particular shape and never have to question my beliefs about myself and the universe or anything. It would feel great to believe I had all the answers! Imagine it, switching off the frontal lobe and just setting the cruise control... No more doubt, no more questioning, no more searching-- to be safely ensconced within a fortress of certainty. That's crap, though. As comfy-womfy as it would feel, it would always be totally hollow. And, in addition to being hollow, it's also dangerous!
Take a good look at the world: Lotsa folks with incompatible beliefs out there. Mostly they just hate each other, or at best they pity each other. But, get a gang of true believers together who feel that their fortress is under attack, and you'll have to get out your galoshes lest the flowing blood stain your socks!
Forget it. Part of me may secretly long to be molded, but all those who would seek to mold me will have to look elsewhere for recruits.
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
This morning as I was attempting to define myself (you know, trying to pick out character traits that I want to express, and just my "way of being in the world"-- something I find myself doing almost constantly) I was reminded of something Albert Camus wrote. I'll paraphrase since I can't remember it word for word: "To the extent to which I define myself, to which I accept my life as having certain boundaries-- I thereby limit the possibilities of my experience." Something like that.
So, immediately, I thought, "I won't even try to define who I am. I'll just be FREE!"
You see what I did there, right? I fell into my own trap. I decided not to limit myself, and then I immediately limited myself by defining myself as "FREE." Tsk tsk! Simpleton! If only I could just shut off the internal dialogue and not be so self-involved and insecure. It's really tedious sometimes.
And, the punchline is that there is really no "Self" to define in the first place! The Buddha pointed that one out about 2,500 years ago, chump!
Monday, June 25, 2007
Saturday, June 23, 2007
I saw this sign of the apocalypse today. I was outside Barnes & Noble (bookstore), and this oldish couple walked past, and the woman's shirt had this design on it. I had to do a double take! Those weren't just seahorses, friend. I almost chased after her to get another look, but I didn't. Who knows what she may have been capable of!
Friday, June 22, 2007
I woke up this morning in a good mood, without a hint of back pain. I had a nice lunch. I received praise for a drawing I've been slaving over for the past week. All in all, the day was pleasant.
I believe I owe it all to yesterday's post. Of course, now that I find myself awake at 2AM, I fear that tomorrow may not be as enjoyable.
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
It's a deceptively simple spell. The concept is elementary-- most of us learn it before the age of two. Yet, to this day I still have trouble putting it into practice when I most need it.
This isn't exactly fair, however, because oftentimes the need for a reply of "No" isn't apparent until the cumulative effect of several replies of "Yes" becomes overwhelming.
Monday, June 18, 2007
Friday, June 15, 2007
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Monday, June 11, 2007
Thursday, June 07, 2007
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
To follow up on Friday's post, it turns out that my damn meniscus is torn again, so it's time for "Knee Surgery Redux." Bummer. On the bright side, it turns out that I'm special because out of the "hundreds" of meniscus surgeries that my orthopedic surgeon does every year only 2 or 3 people suffer a recurrent tear. Cool, eh? Real cool.
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
Just when I thought I had nothing to tell you about today...
I was driving home from work, and at a four-way stopsign two cretins in a white van cut in front of me though I CLEARLY had the right of way. Being the champion of justice that I am, I expressed my irritation by proceeding through the intersection as though they had not been there at all-- which put me right on their bumper. So, they, being the confrontational barbarians they are, pulled to the right, stopped, and rolled down the driver's side window. I, being the curious type, then pulled alongside and rolled down my passenger's side window. The following is a transcript-- faithfully recorded-- of the ensuing exchange:
Driver: (With aggressive simplemindedness) "What?!"
Me: (Righteously indignant) "It was my turn!"
Driver: (Gesturing confrontationally) "What do you want?!"
Me: (Pointedly, though with absolute honesty) "I want you to drive better!"
Driver: (With Neanderthal incredulity) "What do you want?"
Me: (Clearly victorious) "I want you to drive better!!!"
And, off I drove, having clearly expressed my position. Though, admittedly, in the heat of the moment my grammar may have been less than perfect. That is my one regret.
Friday, June 01, 2007
Did anyone else have this said to them today? No? Lucky for you.
I had to get an MRI because the same meniscus (See the diagram from November 17th's post) I had repaired in January might be torn again. This time they had to inject "contrast dye" into the joint before they did the MRI. Egads!