Happy New Year!

A year ago the Earth was RIGHT HERE!!!!

Good luck.

Thanks for looking at my drawings for the past 5 months. You guys are the best. I'm going to keep on doing this, so keep on coming by. Happy New Year!!!

Leisure Time

Even during times of leisure, modern man still finds it difficult to fully relax.

At the Zoo

We went to the zoo today. There are many things about the zoo which I dislike, but I am ALWAYS most disappointed with one particular exhibit: Homo Sapiens.

The patrons of the zoo scare me. Take this group, for example: Clearly, tapping upon the glass is frowned upon here. The management makes this abundantly clear by utilizing both words, and, for the illiterate, diagrams. Yet, these simpletons are unable to comply with even the most basic of requests.

It's so depressing to consider that these cretins are probably a good representative sample of what the bulk of humanity is made of.

At least the weather was nice.

This Far

I've been out of town visiting the folks, so I haven't been able to post anything lately. I'm back though, so let the good times roll!
As for this drawing, well, it's from my sketchbook--I drew it last week, but it's probably still pertinent. The handwritten caption doesn't apply to what's happening in the drawing, it's just an editorial comment. The pen was just drawing by itself, and then I realized what the pen was trying to say, and the jig was up! I might have ruined it if I had taken over.

Here Comes Santa Claus

He bids his elves a fond "Adieu," and lifts off from the frosty snows of the North Pole. His focus must now be on the children of planet Earth...

Scamperin'

Almost there! Real close now!!! You can do it!!!!!!

My Goodness, What Have We Here?

And who is this playful little fellow?

Be of Good Cheer!

And Away We Go!

Today is the first workday of the last workweek of the year--so it's time to COMMIT!

Looking Up

I got a referral to a new orthopedic surgeon, so that's one thing I can check off the "Irritating Things I Have to Take Care of" list! YES!!!

I Thought It Might Be Different This Time.

I thought the wall, rather than my head, would break. Wrong!
I'll try again tomorrow.

Surface

This, in Jungian terms, has something to do with ego-self separation. At least, it does to me.

Working

Here I am at work. I have a new computer now, and it has a little camera built into it.

THIS is the Guy.

In case you were wondering who it is that you have to talk to on the phone when you need information, or to schedule an appointment, or to get some kind of service, THIS is the guy. He isn't very helpful.

Ah, Here They Are!

Unlike yesterday, which was relatively calm, today I have a few complaints.

No Complaints Today

Oh Look!

Oh look, the computer froze before I could save what I was working on...AGAIN.

Success!

I had done a VERY hideous drawing of a VERY hideous rotting Krabby Patty awhile back for an upcoming SpongeBob episode, and during the editing process it was decided that they needed an EVEN MORE HIDEOUS drawing of an even more hideous rotting Krabby Patty.

I didn't think it was possible, but I took it as a challenge.

I can proudly tell you that the new drawing turned my stomach a few times as I was working on it. I wish I could show it to you, but what with copyright infringement and all, I'd better not. It was WAY more disgusting than this. WAAAAY.

Congratulations, Marc!

Sorry we couldn't make it to your wedding on Saturday. We love you and wish you guys lifelong happiness, though! And, don't worry, marriage isn't (too much) like this drawing.

Pay No Attention to the Man Behind the Necktie!

He thought he could fool all of us, but NO! He couldn't fool me. I saw right through his clever ruse! I can't prove it, but I suspect that he had even slept the night in those rumpled clothes--and in a pathetic attempt to blend in with the humans, he knotted that scrap around his unshaven neck and off he went.

NICE TRY!!! I'm on to you, mister! You can place a maraschino cherry atop a dungheap and call it a sundae, but no one is going to eat it!

The Surrogate

Lightning + Poop = An Opportunity for Self-Reflection

It's just this sort of thing that gave me the reputation as "The Guy Who Draws Poop." I know that excrement is a big part of my oeuvre, but if you look back through the archives you'll see that the overwhelming majority of my drawings do not contain any stool. It's interesting then, that I'm not known as "The Guy Who Draws Faces" or something like that, because the drawings of faces far outnumber the drawings of feces. I guess the face is something we take for granted, though. We see hundreds of the damn things every day. Dung, however, is special. Poo-sightings are fairly rare anywhere outside the toilet bowl.
Anyway, poop is still funny.

P.S. Here's another one which illustrates the point a little better, or something:

Cold Snap!

We've been hit with some serious wintry weather here in the greater Los Angeles area (the "Southland" as newscasters like to say). Why today's HIGH temperature was a mere 61 degrees fahrenheit!!!

So, Here's What Happened...

So, I drew the figure on the right, and liked it. So, I went to the scanner, and as I was scanning it I quickly drew the figure on the left on a different piece of paper. I liked that one, too, so I put them together. They're both gesturing in a similar way, so I thought that they would be happy together.

Hard to say what it all means, though...David Hadlock said that everything a person draws is, in a way, a self-portrait. I can't argue with that.

Happy Thanksgiving!

My Stupid Neighbor

The city is resurfacing the streets in my neighborhood, and this morning they did ours. They warned us a few days in advance that we wouldn't be able to park, drive upon, or walk upon the street between the hours of 7AM-4PM of something. It's an inconvenience, yes, but at least the street will be like new.
So, I was getting ready for work, and I saw a worker out the window putting the finishing touches on the street: nice and smooth and pretty. About two minutes after the guy was out of sight my idiot neighbor pulls out of his driveway and drives away up the street leaving horrible gashes all the way up the hill! He ruined the street!
Luckily, the poor bastard who had just finished smoothing out the entire street was able to come back and attempt to repair the damage. It looked awful after he finished anyway, but he had done the best he could under the circumstances.
Hopefully the oily, sticky, black muck will never wash off my neighbor's car. IDIOT IDIOT IDIOT!!!

Teething

The little fella's teething, so sleep has been hard to come by at the Pittenger house lately. I estimate that at least 80% of my energy comes from caffeine now.

P.S. This is my 100th post. I'm a prolific S.O.B.!

Contort

I just drew this. No special reason or meaning (none that I intended, anyway. I'm sure the ol' subconscious mind was trying to tell me something. Or maybe it was trying to tell you something.)

Knee Update

So, I went to an orthopedic surgeon today, and he says that I have a "fairly massive" tear of my left medial meniscus. It looks like surgery will most likely be the next stop on this train ride to the grave.

I drew this, but I pretty much copied it from a medical illustration I found online.

No More Autographs, Please.

Alas...

We had yet another "Sexual Harassment Training" presentation/lecture/meeting this morning. They inflict these on us every few months, and it's always the same old stuff: an amateurish powerpoint presentation, coupled with a repetitive,
mind-numbing lecture where the speaker awkwardly attempts to inject humor here and there. Painful.

I didn't even learn any new techniques for harassing people! It was a total bust.

Piper

I'm always listening to the wrong tune.

Barfing on Two Birds with one Heave

First Bird: This is what I was actually doing overnight Friday and into Saturday. Damned stomach virus. Vomiting is just horrible. Horrible.

Second Bird: Well, this drawing is a pretty fair depiction of what I want to do now that I know for sure that I wasted a lot of time and enthusiasm working on the SpongeBob song I'm art-directing. The new version of the song has officially been approved (see Thursday's post). Now, where's that X-acto knife?.......

"Log is my Copilot"

Here's another poop drawing. Poop is funny. You know that in your heart of hearts.

Change

Remember back when I told you that I was going to be art-directing a song sequence in the big, important upcoming SpongeBob special? Well, I've been working fairly diligently on it since then, and it's been coming along nicely.

This drawing represents how I felt today when I heard the first version of the song. The lyrics have been changed completely from the storyboard I had been working from! Ho ho ho!!! Now, before any of you start wailing and rending your garments in sympathy for me, just know that the version I heard has not gotten approval from "The Boss." (And, I don't mean Springsteen, I mean Tibbitt.) So, who knows, maybe I won't have to toss out much of what I've done. Maybe I won't have to use this shiny, pretty x-acto knife on myself...
____________________________________________________________________________________

P.S. Here is a caricature I did of my next-door neighbor (at work, that is) Vince. I drew it a couple years ago when his hair was more Fabio-esque. I include it here because, as you will see when you visit his blog by clicking on the link at the right, his photo-realistic rendering of me is prominently displayed there. I just wanted to return the favor.

"Please, Come in."

I'm not saying that the savages I work with are people....wait....I meant to say that the PEOPLE I work with are not SAVAGES.

Heh heh, simple mistake!

On the 2nd floor where I work, there is one small bathroom for men and one for women. In each of these tiny chambers is a switch that turns the light on and off. Unfortunately, when the light is turned off so is the fan. This means that if the person who was in there before you has flipped the switch to the OFF position after moving his bowels, then when you open that door you might as well be walking right into his colon.

Conserving electricity is NOT always a good idea.

Gotcha!

I drew this a few days ago, but somehow it felt appropriate to post it on election day.

Infinite Possibility

See? I can be optimistic.

Drop

"By diving or "standing up" in freefall, any experienced skydiver can learn to reach speeds of over 160-180MPH. Speeds of over 200MPH require significant practice to achieve."

Creeping Back to Life

Every day, in every way, it's getting better.

Sick Day

Day of the Dead, and also, as it turns out, Day of the Ill. It seems like I always get sick right after the time change.

Happy Halloween!

Stay Right There

There isn't much room to move, let alone relax and spread out!

Respect

I guess I'd better keep the door to my office closed!

MRI

I got an MRI this evening, and aint technology grand? I felt positively primitive laying there on that slab!
I'll get the results in a couple days.

Clowne

Ye olde hollowe clowne doth speaketh: "Casteth thy vote unto me!"

Hieroglyphics

Sorry to go on and on about my stupid knee, but it's on my mind. I went to the Doc yesterday, and his diagnosis was what you see here (if you can decipher Physician Hieroglyhics, that is). Torn medial meniscus--I'm getting an MRI tomorrow.

Aging

First of all, Happy First Birthday to Cooper (our son)! I can't believe the year has gone by so quickly.

Yet, Cooper isn't the only one getting older. To continue my recent theme I'll tell you about my latest aches and pains: I twisted me knee yesterday, reactivating a 9-year old injury. So, now I can barely walk. So, I bought a knee brace, and I bought a flippin' cane. It helps, so I'm thankful for that, but cripes!!! Last month I was running in triathlons and now I'm hobbling around with a cane! Gadzooks!

Then, about an hour ago, I electrocuted myself.