Simile Abuse

Even so, you can't argue with him.

Salesman

They will attempt to gain your confidence. You know how they are.

Ummm...What to Call Him?

Are You Ready for Some Footbaaaaaalllll???

Trimming the Fat

He's been downsized.

Face Facts

Hello again....hello.

Thank You.

Hey, thank you.
All of you
For different things.
There are too many to mention here.
So, like I said,
Thank you.

Lies!!!

You know the ones (maybe you even are one)-- the ones who, when asked in passing, "How are you?" answer with some kind of weird daily-affirmation jive about how great or "better and better" they are. The first time or two that I got replies like this I liked it--"Hey, that's kinda clever-- that's a nice kind of magical spell you're working for yourself. I ought to try that." You create your own reality, and all that. But, it has happened enough times that I'm starting to wonder if it's some kind of cult thing, or is it Prozac, or what? I'm starting to think that the truth of it is quite the opposite of what they say: They really mean, "My life is horrible, and I'm depressed about it."

Of course, even if these people are trying to compensate for some kind of inner misery, and they aren't being honest with their answer, it's probably better to keep things positive, isn't it? Why spread your pain to others? No one want to hang around with Gloomy Gus.

Take me for example. I'm quite in favor of not sticking to the social script-- it's good to keep things a little weird, it reminds me that I'm alive. (Or it makes me think I'm "unique"-- but that should be the topic of another post altogether.) When I get asked in passing how I'm doing, I usually try to give an honest assessment (because I'm a bit of a bore). If I'm feeling good, then I say that I'm feeling good, and if I'm tired, then I say that I'm tired. People probably don't want an honest assessment, though-- mostly people want to hear that I'm fine, thanks for asking, see you later.

Oh well. Just thought I'd point it out and make fun of it.

It Really Works!

Placemat Doodle

A little lunchy-wunch doodlin'.

We've Got Some Fresh Ideas

Crow

Tri Tri Again...

What more needs to be said?

Market Crash

When the market takes a dive it's definitely scary. Yet, isn't it always a little bit funny to see newspaper photographs of those traders on Wall Street looking so destroyed? So melodramatic! Sorry.

The Professor

Even now, as we speak, he's down there....giving it his all! He's interpreting that old public speaking trick in his own way, by God.

Affirmation

There's a certain futility to it.

Failien

Anyway....

Owl Talk

Hulklet

Tiptoe

Construction Delay

Get out of my way, jerk!

Real Conversation

We've Moved

Sure it's been over a month since we moved, but I'm only now getting around to making a thing that tells people where we've moved to. What do you think of the design? Of course, the actual illustration has the address. Smart Aleck.

T.G.I.M.

Ha Ha!

Reach

You never know who might have touched that bagel before you got here.

This Explains A Lot

For no particular reason I did a Google search for my birthdate. This article came up. Pretty funny!

GMO Plate

Be careful. Read this.

It's Just my NeckHurts

The Opportunist

Maybe I'm just getting old, but driving around in the Los Angeles area has been making me crazy lately. As soon as another driver sees a tiny opening they have to dart into it whether or not it's actually going to get them to their destination any sooner. Usually it causes whoever they just cut off to slam on their brakes, thereby causing a chain-reaction of sudden braking which, if someone in the line isn't 100% focused, will cause a collision. So, anyway. This is about people like that, and the karmic turd-pie that they are gobbling up.

Andy

Sometimes a drawing makes me laugh. Isn't that reason enough to post it here?

Too Stool for Cool

I was at this restaurant for lunch last Friday, and one of the employees was changing the bag in the trash can, and after he had taken the full one out, but before he had replaced it, some fool dropped his load of food-trash in the bag-less receptacle. When he had realized what he had done he said, "Oh sorry, I didn't see that there was no bag." That's when I noticed that he was wearing his dark sunglasses indoors. That would explain the inability to see the obvious.

Can You Relate?

Sometimes you feel out of place-- like an actor in your own life-story. "What am I doing here? Is this real? Why am I doing this? Am I where I'm supposed to be? Did I miss something? Was I supposed to...? Is this the right...? How do I ...? Why...? Get me the Philips-Head Screwdriver! I know what to do! I am a real doctor! I don't just play one on TV!!! Nurse, I need the anaesthetic at once! Take this on an empty stomach! Administer the usual dose via the eye socket--specifically the tear ducts! A strict regimen must be adhered to in just such a way as to effect the desired outcome! This is SCIENCE!!! I'm talking about empirical knowledge here! No guesswork! Just the facts ma'am! Where were you on the night of October 27th, 2006? So you did it! I smell a rat! You're going to the big house, Charlie! The ability to see multiple viewpoints only exacerbates the problem!"

ETs

No reason. Just doodlin'.

"Hat Man"

Is this too dark? Can you see it? Anyway, here's some spooky reading if you're interested:

www.shadowpeople.org