Los Angeles Freeways

There's a lot to think about when setting out for a drive on an L.A. freeway:  Will the traffic be terrible or will it be horrible?  How many times will I be cut off, and by how many jerks?  Will one of my mirrors be shattered by a motorcyclist splitting lanes?  How many potholes will I hit?  Will the corpse of the person tailgating me land in my front seat or my back seat when he rear-ends my car?

A big one, though, is will one of the giant semis that drifts into my lane when I'm right beside it be able to correct its course before flattening my car?  I can't completely blame the truck drivers, though.  Because the freeways have been altered and repaired and re-routed so many times, and on so many different occasions over the years, it's like driving on a patchwork quilt.  When the contours of the road go in a different direction than the faint white lines that designate the lanes (see above), there will be a lot of wandering death machines to contend with.