Imminent Collapse

I Don't Even Know What to Call This

Bug

No reason...just a little fella.

37

Well, technically it's still my birthday...11:46PM...Happy Birthday to me.

50/50

On the way to work this morning I got stuck behind a guy who was driving 50 mph on the freeway. We took the same exit, and it turns out that he drives 50 mph on surface streets, too.

You have to admire his consistency. He not only drove at the same speed in both situations, he was also 15 mph away from the posted speed limit in both situations!

Disclosure Project

Check out the press conference for the Disclosure Project! It's kind of long, but worth watching (really you could just listen to it and glance up every now and then). In light of all the hubbub over the UFO sighting in Stephenville, Texas from last week, I thought it might be timely).

The Shadow

Bewarest thou the pitfalls of wielding this mighty hammer! With great power comes great responsibility: Project thee not thine own stoolfoolery upon the innocent, lest thine own stoolfoolery be increased tenfold!!!

An Urgent Plea

We've lived in a divided world for far too long. It's time for us to make peace and unite for the common good. If we could all just learn to use the term "StoolFool" when referring to those we disdain, then the world would be a far better place. Well, it would be better for us. Who cares if it's better for the stoolfools, right?

I Am a Psychic.

I was at the DMV today, and I was waiting for my number to be called. There were over 20 different windows they could have called me to, and as I sat there waiting I tried to guess which window I would be called to. I guessed window #13. Minutes later...I was called to window #13!!! Send me your money! I have superhuman abilities! And, in 2-3 weeks I will have a new drivers license, too!

What I Was Trying to Say

Within

Special

WDYW?WDYRW?WDYWIF?

This is another Da-Da desk artifact. I love finding these.

I think the image of the guy with the bowl derives from the simple zen monastery practice of washing out your food bowl after every meal. It's a method of cultivating mindfulness. The long division is just me working out the required setting on the copier--for myriad layouts (background designs). The filth is just filth: accumulated layers of workday sediment.

During today's excavation, I also found a scrap of paper on which I'd written:

What do you want?
What do you really want?
What do you want it for?

I don't remember on what website I saw that, but when I rediscovered it, it seemed like it would go well with the image of the guy cleaning out his cranium. It's good to clarify your intentions. And, it's also good to clean off your desk.

Pretty

We were at the Aquarium of the Pacific in Long Beach today, and at one point I thought about how I haven't blogged lately and that I really should. Very shortly thereafter I overheard some lady saying something like what you see here about some seahorses she was looking at. I thought I could use it for my blog. And, so I have. Sure, she wasn't as hideous as what you see here, but in my opinion she was uglier than any of the seahorses I saw.

Maybe starting out 2008 with an insulting drawing of someone I don't even know is "getting things off on the wrong foot," but it probably doesn't matter. Happy New Year!!!

Bearer of Bad News

I have yet to test this hypothesis, but my guess is that if you have to deliver bad news it won't reflect as badly on you if you do it from a prone position.

Moat

I read somewhere that the middle class acts as a moat protecting the rich from the poor. So, I get very confused when I see the rich shitting all over the middle class and, in effect, doing away with the moat.

You see it everywhere lately: Some huge mega-corporation decides to slash its employees' benefits to the bone in order to save a few pennies even though it's made BILLIONS in profits in a given year (cough-cough-Viacom-cough-cough). What the hell is going on here???

I understand that many corporations are run by greedy sons-of-bitches who would stab their own grandmothers in the face just to make an extra buck. But, when they begin in earnest to destroy the only buffer between themselves and the filthy rabble clamoring at the castle walls...well, what exactly is going on?

Anybody with even the slightest grasp of history knows that when wealth is concentrated in the hands of a tiny elite, and the peasants are starving, it's time to roll out the guillotines. So, what gives? Do they think that the masses are so doped with "bread and circuses" that the powderkeg won't ever explode? I wonder.

Maybe those concentration camps that Halliburton (go ahead, look it up) has been quietly building are meant for anyone who speaks out-- for anyone who tosses a molotov cocktail over the ramparts-- for anyone who has worked for a company for 10+ years and ends up getting raped by it.

I don't know. Maybe we are all too pacified to do anything about it. As long as cable TV is piped in to the homeless shelters then maybe our corporate masters really don't have anything to worry about!

Kidding?

I know, I know. They say you should never discuss religion or politics. I'll never learn, will I?

A fellow blogger (thanks H!) posted a link to an article about a devout muslim guy in Canada who killed his daughter because she didn't want to wear her hijab (head scarf). Of course we can all agree that this is a pretty extreme case, and that most folks wouldn't react this way. It's turbo-fundamentalism, and just plain insane, right?

The Quran and the Bible are chock full of passages that, to our 21st century western minds, seem absurdly violent and misogynistic. From the Quran:

4:34- Men are in charge of women, because Allah hath made the one of them to
excel the other, and because they spend of their property (for the support of
women). So good women are the obedient, guarding in secret that which Allah hath guarded. As for those from whom ye fear rebellion, admonish them and banish them to beds apart, and scourge [whip] them.

From the Bible:

Leviticus 21:9- And the daughter of any priest, if she profane herself by playing the whore, she profaneth her father: she shall be burnt with fire.

And those quotes don't even begin to scratch the surface of all the violent, bizarre, cruel, stuff you'll find in there (mixed in with the good stuff, of course). So, faced with that, what are we to think? Only the most devout, hardcore fanatic would do exactly as their holy book commands (and they would probably be jailed for doing it) right???

Well... Yeah, probably.

So, most religious people in the west practice a more moderate and relaxed version of their faith. I mean, does anyone actually avoid shellfish because they are "abominations?" Do you kill your kids when they "curseth" you? Do you murder people whose beliefs differ from your own? Do you ladies go into exile when menstruating? The books say you should...

But, what I want to know is, if these holy books are the WORD OF GOD, is it OK for us mere mortals to pick and choose which parts we want to follow and which we would rather ignore? That doesn't seem like a very good idea. I would think that it's an either/or kind of deal: either you do exactly as He says, or don't get to be in the club. Am I wrong in thinking that?

"Untitled"

Big Smile

Look how happy you are! Gosh, you're happy!

Intruder

I was at a restaurant lastnight, and I went to the restroom. When I got inside I thought it was sort of strange that I didn't see any urinals. It didn't dawn on me until I was already "about my business" in one of the stalls that I was actually in the Lady's Room. I hadn't even been drinking! Fortunately(?) no one else came in and I escaped without being noticed. It would have made for a better story had someone come in. Oh well. Maybe next time.

Cell Phone Driver

This person is often driving in the car ahead of me. She takes different cars sometimes. For instance, she was in front of me TWICE yesterday on my way to work!

We

Always refer to yourself in the first person plural. They will think you're eccentric, and geometrically speaking, they will be correct. But, we know it's more accurate than the first person singular. Don't we.

The Corporate Pyramid

Due to popular demand, you can buy a shirt (or something else) with this image on it HERE.