Just when I thought I had nothing to tell you about today...
I was driving home from work, and at a four-way stopsign two cretins in a white van cut in front of me though I CLEARLY had the right of way. Being the champion of justice that I am, I expressed my irritation by proceeding through the intersection as though they had not been there at all-- which put me right on their bumper. So, they, being the confrontational barbarians they are, pulled to the right, stopped, and rolled down the driver's side window. I, being the curious type, then pulled alongside and rolled down my passenger's side window. The following is a transcript-- faithfully recorded-- of the ensuing exchange:
Driver: (With aggressive simplemindedness) "What?!"
Me: (Righteously indignant) "It was my turn!"
Driver: (Gesturing confrontationally) "What do you want?!"
Me: (Pointedly, though with absolute honesty) "I want you to drive better!"
Driver: (With Neanderthal incredulity) "What do you want?"
Me: (Clearly victorious) "I want you to drive better!!!"
And, off I drove, having clearly expressed my position. Though, admittedly, in the heat of the moment my grammar may have been less than perfect. That is my one regret.
5 comments:
WICKED!
haha cool drawing. i like his teeth. bad drivers are everywhere. yesterday i was in a packed minimall parking lot and waitng for a dude to pull out, with my blinker on waiting for the space, then an old lady hag in the opposite direction came and i didnt even THINK she was going to go for the spot cause it was clearly mine, then as soon as he pulled out and as i was about to pull in , she swerved into the spot almost hitting me. i found a spot further down and was going to vindicate by yelling her head off, but it was no use because she had disappeared into one of the stores.
DG-you should have pulled the "TAWANDA!!!!" move from Fried Green Tomatoes...I've always wanted to do that.
KP-congratulations valiant warrior of the road! I sometimes want to offer some helpful hints to people, but I fear the weapons they may have hidden :)
You almost crash me!!!
Sid
That drawing is brilliant, man! I hope the turd in the van sees it. Hah hah. Monday night: I almost got into 3 accidents within a minute of each other, all because of dumb people not looking (before changing lanes, turning, etc). Man. People need brain-transplants.
Post a Comment