Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Wrong Tool

It looks like a screwdriver might be more effective here.

A screwdriver is made from orange juice and vodka.

Vodka is made from potatoes.

Potatoes grow underground.

So, if we take the surface of the ground to be a metaphor for the persona, and the potato for what lies beneath, then you could ask someone to be more authentic by saying, "Show me your potatoes."

Who knows what will happen next?

Thursday, March 26, 2009


This is my friend Derek. You may know him as "My Friend Derek." I drew this from life. He's not my imaginary friend-- he's my imaginative friend.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009


Last week someone left a wooden dowel in my mailbox at work. Being the enterprising, young megalomaniac that I am, I decided to use it as a flagpole upon which would proudly hang the flag of my new country. The territory of my (as yet unnamed) country spans the entire volume of my office--wall to wall and floor to ceiling. I own the rights to whatever minerals are to be found within the industrial-grade carpet underfoot, and reserve the right to shoot down any paper airplane that enters my airspace without clearance. Come by for a visit anytime, though-- just be sure that your passport is in order. Applications for citizenship are also being considered, unfortunately you will have to contend with a mountain of red tape. It hardly seems worth the effort, really. Better to just sneak in, but be sure to bring along some beer with which to bribe the border guards.

Friday, March 20, 2009


None of these drawings are interesting on their own, but when you sandwich them together...they don't get any better. Oh well.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Volume 2!

I couldn't help myself.

I have a right, nay a duty, to vigorously mock those who would befoul Kenny's Korner with their invective. It's all in good fun, of course.

Isn't it?

(To see these comments in their original context, please refer to the comments section from the New Magazine! post below. And, as always, you can click on the image to enlarge it.)


I was at a gas station yesterday filling up my car and washing the windows when this little fella approached me carrying a spray bottle of something. He opened with, "Hey Boss, how are you doing today?" then he informed me that what I was doing would leave "streaking" on my windshield and he began to indicate that whatever product he was peddling would prevent it. I reacted with mock-horror about the streaking and sent him on his way. What I really wanted to do, after he called me "Boss," was to say, "Hello, Employee."

I didn't do it though. Alas, I'll have to add that to the I Wish I Had Said... file.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Love the Devil

It must have been about a week ago. I had just gone to bed, and as I lay there in between waking and sleep, in my mind's eye an image of a devil began to assemble itself. It didn't really look like this drawing, it was really cartoonish and over-the-top, but it managed to be kind of frightening to my dozing mind-- like, "Why the f___ is this happening?"

Suddenly, rather than giving in to fear, I relaxed and experienced a great upwelling of love, and the image of the devil completely vanished.

It was sort of unexpected. It wasn't as though I made a decision to "love my enemy," or something like that. I think that if I had done it intentionally it would have been shaky and weak and I would still have been secretly scared doing it. Instead, it just happened, seemingly without any conscious decision or effort on my part.

If I were to say, "I love the devil." it would sound like I was trying to be cool and scary. Or, it might sound like I was giving myself over to "evil," or trying to draw power from some dark, destructive archetype. But, the experience wasn't like that. It wasn't as though I was sacrificing something of myself, or making a deal. Instead, it was as if I had opened a channel to some immense, hidden reservoir that exists apart from-- or maybe at some deeper, collective-unconscious kind of level of-- myself, and everything was transformed. I felt as though I had been removed from the drama of the situation and was able to see objectively the humanity and the just-isness of this fellow and the role he was fated to play.

It was empowering, but not in some tough-guy vanquishing hero way, but more of a there-is-nothing-to-fear-everything-is-OK-we're-all-one kind of way. Reflecting on it later, I was reminded of a dream that a friend of mine related to me back in high school: He was confronted by a terrifying bear, and he started to run away from it, but then he turned around and embraced the creature instead.

Maybe it was some kind of Jungian "integrating of the Shadow" moment for me. I don't know. Do I seem more individuated to you?

Friday, March 06, 2009

The Latest Adventure

Maybe you've never heard of Kitchen Man. He is a superhero that keeps watch over our kitchen at work, making sure that everything is in order. He attempts to right the many wrongs that occur there in his unique, totally inefficient and misguided way. His first exploit was chronicled about 4 1/2 years ago, and he has taken part in many adventures since.

This is his latest.

Thursday, March 05, 2009

Mint Magnet

This must be why I eat the entire tube of Thin Mints once it's open: half of a box contains 24% of my daily iron requirement.

Why the magnet? Don't ask...

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Me 2

I drew this one of myself. It's not as interesting as Cooper's, but it's really how I look!

I haven't had a lot to blog about lately (Which usually precedes a period of lotsa-stuff-to-blog-about-- so get ready! Gird up thy loins!!!). No news is good news, right?

I finished up this freelance that I'd been working on for a long time, so I think I've been decompressing a bit from that.

Anyway, I guess the point is that I'll soon be out of hibernation and I'll seer your eye sockets and spank your cerebellum!

Monday, March 02, 2009