Tuesday, March 24, 2009


Last week someone left a wooden dowel in my mailbox at work. Being the enterprising, young megalomaniac that I am, I decided to use it as a flagpole upon which would proudly hang the flag of my new country. The territory of my (as yet unnamed) country spans the entire volume of my office--wall to wall and floor to ceiling. I own the rights to whatever minerals are to be found within the industrial-grade carpet underfoot, and reserve the right to shoot down any paper airplane that enters my airspace without clearance. Come by for a visit anytime, though-- just be sure that your passport is in order. Applications for citizenship are also being considered, unfortunately you will have to contend with a mountain of red tape. It hardly seems worth the effort, really. Better to just sneak in, but be sure to bring along some beer with which to bribe the border guards.


Holley T said...

it's the flag that does it...protect and defend, my friend!

Adam T said...

What do the 5 stars symbolize?

Jeff Gilman said...


The Solo State of Expression?

Pulyorhedout Republic?

Kenny P. said...

Holley: I just looked it up, and there are no flagless countries. I don't understand why that is. Buncha conformists.

Adam: Well, it could be that they represent the "5 Pillars" of the Gordoners (The Gordoners were/are a secret society that formed here at Nickelodeon about 10 years ago when a guy named Dave Gordon left the SpongeBob crew. I inherited his office--though I am in a different office now--which became the meeting place/temple of the group). We had a secret handshake and salute, and the "5 Pillars" were...well, I can't tell you that.

Jeff: You're trying to get the "Namer of the Realm" position aren't you? You'll have to fill out some forms (and bring beer) before I can consider any of these suggestions.

Jeff Gilman said...

Do you like Peroni? Bass? Harp's? Anchor Steam?

(See I'm a good Namer - can't draw for crap though. You saw my handwriting scribbles in Mrs. Raynes' class. Yours were always better, sigh)