Oh, the anxiety this causes! What is it that I don't know??? How am I being taken advantage of? How did I come to be such an ignoramus? It's a shame that they never actually give any information that would help anyone "Wake Up."
Maybe they feel superior at being Awakened, while the rest of us slumber all comatose and helpless. Maybe they imagine themselves to be modern-day Paul Reveres, warning us all of impending danger. Or, maybe they are actually agents of the Illuminati using the power of suggestion to paralyze our minds with paranoia in order to keep us feeling uneasy and at the mercy of some nameless menace!
That's it! They're softening up our brains with black magic that they might one day enslave us by offering solutions, and protection, and guidance... Oh, I'm onto their little game, all right!
I'll defeat them, I tell you! I'll...I'll...Well, first I'll take a nap. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzz....