The Surrogate

Lightning + Poop = An Opportunity for Self-Reflection

It's just this sort of thing that gave me the reputation as "The Guy Who Draws Poop." I know that excrement is a big part of my oeuvre, but if you look back through the archives you'll see that the overwhelming majority of my drawings do not contain any stool. It's interesting then, that I'm not known as "The Guy Who Draws Faces" or something like that, because the drawings of faces far outnumber the drawings of feces. I guess the face is something we take for granted, though. We see hundreds of the damn things every day. Dung, however, is special. Poo-sightings are fairly rare anywhere outside the toilet bowl.
Anyway, poop is still funny.

P.S. Here's another one which illustrates the point a little better, or something:

Cold Snap!

We've been hit with some serious wintry weather here in the greater Los Angeles area (the "Southland" as newscasters like to say). Why today's HIGH temperature was a mere 61 degrees fahrenheit!!!

So, Here's What Happened...

So, I drew the figure on the right, and liked it. So, I went to the scanner, and as I was scanning it I quickly drew the figure on the left on a different piece of paper. I liked that one, too, so I put them together. They're both gesturing in a similar way, so I thought that they would be happy together.

Hard to say what it all means, though...David Hadlock said that everything a person draws is, in a way, a self-portrait. I can't argue with that.

Happy Thanksgiving!

My Stupid Neighbor

The city is resurfacing the streets in my neighborhood, and this morning they did ours. They warned us a few days in advance that we wouldn't be able to park, drive upon, or walk upon the street between the hours of 7AM-4PM of something. It's an inconvenience, yes, but at least the street will be like new.
So, I was getting ready for work, and I saw a worker out the window putting the finishing touches on the street: nice and smooth and pretty. About two minutes after the guy was out of sight my idiot neighbor pulls out of his driveway and drives away up the street leaving horrible gashes all the way up the hill! He ruined the street!
Luckily, the poor bastard who had just finished smoothing out the entire street was able to come back and attempt to repair the damage. It looked awful after he finished anyway, but he had done the best he could under the circumstances.
Hopefully the oily, sticky, black muck will never wash off my neighbor's car. IDIOT IDIOT IDIOT!!!

Teething

The little fella's teething, so sleep has been hard to come by at the Pittenger house lately. I estimate that at least 80% of my energy comes from caffeine now.

P.S. This is my 100th post. I'm a prolific S.O.B.!

Contort

I just drew this. No special reason or meaning (none that I intended, anyway. I'm sure the ol' subconscious mind was trying to tell me something. Or maybe it was trying to tell you something.)

Knee Update

So, I went to an orthopedic surgeon today, and he says that I have a "fairly massive" tear of my left medial meniscus. It looks like surgery will most likely be the next stop on this train ride to the grave.

I drew this, but I pretty much copied it from a medical illustration I found online.

No More Autographs, Please.

Alas...

We had yet another "Sexual Harassment Training" presentation/lecture/meeting this morning. They inflict these on us every few months, and it's always the same old stuff: an amateurish powerpoint presentation, coupled with a repetitive,
mind-numbing lecture where the speaker awkwardly attempts to inject humor here and there. Painful.

I didn't even learn any new techniques for harassing people! It was a total bust.

Piper

I'm always listening to the wrong tune.

Barfing on Two Birds with one Heave

First Bird: This is what I was actually doing overnight Friday and into Saturday. Damned stomach virus. Vomiting is just horrible. Horrible.

Second Bird: Well, this drawing is a pretty fair depiction of what I want to do now that I know for sure that I wasted a lot of time and enthusiasm working on the SpongeBob song I'm art-directing. The new version of the song has officially been approved (see Thursday's post). Now, where's that X-acto knife?.......

"Log is my Copilot"

Here's another poop drawing. Poop is funny. You know that in your heart of hearts.

Change

Remember back when I told you that I was going to be art-directing a song sequence in the big, important upcoming SpongeBob special? Well, I've been working fairly diligently on it since then, and it's been coming along nicely.

This drawing represents how I felt today when I heard the first version of the song. The lyrics have been changed completely from the storyboard I had been working from! Ho ho ho!!! Now, before any of you start wailing and rending your garments in sympathy for me, just know that the version I heard has not gotten approval from "The Boss." (And, I don't mean Springsteen, I mean Tibbitt.) So, who knows, maybe I won't have to toss out much of what I've done. Maybe I won't have to use this shiny, pretty x-acto knife on myself...
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P.S. Here is a caricature I did of my next-door neighbor (at work, that is) Vince. I drew it a couple years ago when his hair was more Fabio-esque. I include it here because, as you will see when you visit his blog by clicking on the link at the right, his photo-realistic rendering of me is prominently displayed there. I just wanted to return the favor.

"Please, Come in."

I'm not saying that the savages I work with are people....wait....I meant to say that the PEOPLE I work with are not SAVAGES.

Heh heh, simple mistake!

On the 2nd floor where I work, there is one small bathroom for men and one for women. In each of these tiny chambers is a switch that turns the light on and off. Unfortunately, when the light is turned off so is the fan. This means that if the person who was in there before you has flipped the switch to the OFF position after moving his bowels, then when you open that door you might as well be walking right into his colon.

Conserving electricity is NOT always a good idea.

Gotcha!

I drew this a few days ago, but somehow it felt appropriate to post it on election day.

Infinite Possibility

See? I can be optimistic.

Drop

"By diving or "standing up" in freefall, any experienced skydiver can learn to reach speeds of over 160-180MPH. Speeds of over 200MPH require significant practice to achieve."

Creeping Back to Life

Every day, in every way, it's getting better.

Sick Day

Day of the Dead, and also, as it turns out, Day of the Ill. It seems like I always get sick right after the time change.